Things I Don't Have In My Wardrobe #1: Cardigans

Flicking through fashion blogs cardigans are something I see again and again - whether the blogger is an all-out goth or a modern fashionista or a sweet lolita, it seems like cardigans are something that everyone has. Except me. I do not own a single cardigan. I have owned cardigans in the past, but I've never bought one; those I had came from the closet cleanings of my sisters or various friends.

Why the aversion to cardigans? Honestly, I'm not too sure, and until I got into lolita I never even thought about cardigans, but cardigans along with boleros and cropped jackets are such a lolita staple that I have begun re-evaluating my choice to avoid the humble yet apparently versatile cardigan.

Maybe it's a curvy girl thing. I'm sure many will disagree with me here, but I feel that us gals with more meat on our bones can't wear boring outfits. A plain tank top and jeans [perhaps topped with a neutral cardigan] looks great on girls with toned bodies to show off, but not on me. I need something more interesting, thought that's a much personality as proportions.

Maybe it's also because cardigans have always seemed a bit 30+ to me. Given that I'm 22, I don't feel much of a need to dress like a mature-er woman until I actually am one.

So what's a non-cardigan-wearing girl to do? For me, with my cute nerd girl style, I tend to find layering under, rather than over, is my go-to look; a grey-and-black striped long sleeved shirt under a cute t-shirt is what I wear most. And if wearing something over the top of an outfit is necessary, I go for the hoodie. At the moment, it's this hoodie from tokidoki.

But Roli, you can't be casual all the time, what do you wear in place of the trusty cardigan when you have to look a little neater? Elementary, my dear reader. Fitted jackets. Nice fitted jackets. I know there's not too big a difference, really, between a cardigan and a jacket; they both fasten up the front, cover your arms, and both jackets and cardigans can range the spectrum from plain and casual to rather fancy. But I find no garment can span from grungy to glamourous, professional to punk-y, feminine to funky, quite so well as a good jacket.

New layout!

Just a quick post because in case you haven't noticed, I've changed my blog layout! Just a bit, mostly the background change [bye-bye purple stripes, hello macro flower photo I took years ago], font changes and the addition of a few widgets, most importantly the blog list on the side. I follow a whole lot of different blogs.

The biggest change was probably my switch from LinkWithin to nRelate. Why? Because LinkWithin tended to only like promoting about a third of my posts, and I wanted something that gave links to posts that are more similar to whatever you just read. LinkWithin was a great basic add-on but I wanted something I could control a bit more. I'm not going to ramble too much about it; a simple google of "LinkWithin or nRelate" will bring up lots of articles that outline the differences between these two and I don't feel much need to add my voice particularly loudly.

I've gotta say, I'm having a lot of fun with this whole blogging thing. I may become on of those people who changes layouts every month. Ah well, only time will tell... ^__^

Review #11: Stocking Shock. And Syra is gone.

When I got my fawn fur collar and was blown away by the quality, James and I decided to get a few more items from Stocking Shock [aka Peacockalorum]. We ordered direct from their website using the PayPal checkout option that was available for the items rather than the email order form, which was really easy to do. We ordered February 20th and the package arrived today, April 4th.

Apologies in advance for the horribly flashed photos, it's a dark and drizzly day. For more accurate colours, see the stock photos for each item, and know that in real life they are lovely.

Bradgate Collar
Again, this was a lovely piece of work. The lace is a different make from the cream lace on my first collar, but it's still lovely. This collar is slightly larger than my first one, which was very snug around the neck, so there's a bit more breathing room. There were a few more stitches visible on the inside than last time but it's on the inside so it doesn't matter. It's very sturdily made and of good materials, so I'm very happy again.

Antique Cameo
Honestly, I think this is way lovelier in person than it is in the stock photos or my photo. It's just gorgeous - a really simple design that makes wonderful use of the lace's shape, the textural contrast of the lace and the ribbon and the solid detailing of the cameo. I love it.

Viola Jabot
This thing definitely needs an iron to look its best, but I think when ironed it will look fantastic. The lace on the jabot we received is different from that in the stock photo, but it's still a nice thick lace. The stitching is all incredibly neat and all in all it's a very nice piece. However, my phone hates it therefore there is not photo but the stock photo is very accurate except for the lace difference.

Viola Choker
This chocker is nice but doesn't seem as well made as all the other items. Certain hand sewing was done in black, which shows up a lot against the cream ribbon and it all seems a little pucker-y, for lack of a better word. However, these flaws aren't noticeable when worn and the laces used are really nice so it really balances out in the end, it's just odd that the other three piece were lovely and this one was a little less so.

The only thing I'm not a huge fan of from my two experiences with Stocking Shock is the lack of communication. When we placed the order there was an automatic message that we would be contacted to confirm the order, and we weren't. After a few weeks I emailed to check how things were going, got a very prompt reply and was told they'd let us know when the order shipped, and they didn't. See, I'm okay with a lack of communication because I tend to trust online sellers, especially ones I've bought from before, and I know made-to-order can take a while, but I don't like being told I'll be contacted and then not have that happen. However, that's my only issue with Stocking Shock and it's really a matter of personal preference than a real problem. Whenever I've had to message them they've always replied promptly and politely, which is all that matters.

Overall Opinions
Basically, Stocking Shock does great stuff. Everything looks fine when worn so even if there are a few visible stitches once it's on they won't be visible any more so it really doesn't matter. I think their making time is quite reasonable and even if they don't keep you updated they always reply to correspondence quickly and pleasantly and are overall really good to deal with.

Now, I'm just tacking this onto the end of this post because I don't think I have the guts to put it all on it's own. Last night we found and buried Syra's body, and today James made her a lovely grave. She was a real sweetie, and she is very missed.

The shame of asking.

I just finished watching Amanda Palmer's TED talk, and if you haven't watched it I really suggest you do. Here's a nice handy link to it.

Not sure who to credit for this photo, if anyone knows please tell me!

Watched it? Finished taking a few minutes to process it? Grabbed a nice hot beverage to get yourself through my not-entirely-coherent rambling?

Good.

There was one thing that really stood out to me in this talk. If you strip away all the background about music and how trust and asking is important for musicians and artists you are left with a really stark and simple message; frequently, we are ashamed to ask for help. And that sucks.

I know there's a thousand reasons why we don't ask, and sometimes it's hard to overcome whatever barriers we all have set up inside that stop us from asking. I'm in a very loving, honest and trusting relationship and I still sometimes have to remind myself that it's okay to ask for things. "Could you hang out the laundry?" shouldn't be a hard thing for me to ask my James, but sometimes it is and if it's hard for me in that intimate relationship I have to wonder how hard it must be for so many people in other situations.

But that got me to thinking to a step further and I feel that to some extent we may be hesitant to ask because in Western societies as a whole, we feel an obligation to answer an ask to the affirmative. "Yes." Think for a second to when the last time is you said no when someone asked for something, and how it made you feel. I don't think I'm the odd one out when I feel guilty, like I've let someone down, when I say "no" instead of "yes". James will say "Any chance of a cup of tea" and sometimes it's hard to say "No" even to such a simple request from a loved person.

The thing I don't think people realise is that when "no" is the right answer for you to give it's really harmful to say "yes" regardless. Take the cup of tea example for a moment  and what would happened if I were to say "yes" when I wanted to say "no". Let's say I was reading a book and was up to a really interesting scene and didn't want to put it down when James asked, but did anyway out of a sense of obligation or something like that. Would I be doing it because I was happy and willing to do a simple task to make my boyfriend's day a bit easier and happier? Of course not, and perhaps I'd start feeling a little grumpy or resentful because of it. And is that helpful to our relationship? Not at all. Perhaps this was a bit rambly [even by my standards] but my point is that even if you feel like you are obligated to help when asked, if you are unable or unwilling to do so for whatever reason, you shouldn't and you shouldn't feel bad about it.

However, this brings me to a third thought. Think back again to that last time you refused a request for help. How did the asker react? I find that I'm frequently met with a snide comment, an affronted "Oh, okay then" or some passive-aggressive comment or even the silent treatment [though not ever from James, I should clarify. He's always nice]. Even offering a compromise; "I can give you a lift, but in an hour when I was already planning on going out that way" is often met with that kind of response. So that's not encouraging me to be honest and say no when I need to, so there may be a build-up of resentment, which leads to nicely strained relationships all around. Not much fun. And due to my grumpiness about feeling obliged to give other people what they want I in turn may react badly when someone turns down my request.

What I'm trying to say is that not only do we need to realise that there is no shame in asking for help, but that there is also no need to be ashamed of saying no if that's the right answer, and if you ask and are denied that is okay. Sometimes the person asked is unable to give the help and support the asker wants, and the asker has to respect that. What's really awesome, even if no help is given, is that by asking and answering honestly, you've started or deepened a relationship with a fellow human. And that, to me, is pretty damn important and also a really awesome thing.

Obviously Amanda was talking about asking on a larger scale, but I find that in this as in many things the same principles hold true despite the scale. Mostly it comes down to honesty.

"I need this, can you give it to me?"
"I'm sorry, I can't right now."
"That's okay, thank you for answering me honestly."
"And thank you, for reaching out to me when you needed help."

Review #10: Peacockalorum/Stocking Shock

Ever since I saw my first fawn fur capelet, I was in love. But alas! My practical side is often too strong, so when I've seen collars and capelets on the EGL sales community for $50+ I've always ummed and ahhed and eventually decided against it. Then when I saw the pretty collar on Peacockalorum's Etsy it was the start of a couple of months of internal debate, and I finally succumbed. 

I ordered the collar with ivory ribbon and cream lace, like shown in one of the listing pictures.

And this is my collar, straight out of the postage satchel, wrapped securely in it's little bag.

And this is me trying to mimic the listing picture - seriously, this collar had probably the most accurate stock photo I've ever seen. Pictures speak louder than words, we're told, and seriously, look at this.

A couple of close ups of the lace and the hook-and-eye closure.

As far as ordering goes, Etsy made that easy as the proverbial pie. I placed my order January 31st and it was posted February 12th, which I think is a decent turnaround time for a made-to-order item. I received the collar this afternoon, February 20th, which was quicker than the 10 days I was told it would probably take, so I'm happy.

After I placed my order on Etsy I had a bit of a hunt around the interwebz to see who else had acquired one of these collars, and I found out that Peacockalorum is one and the same as the lolita store Stocking Shock. The collar is a couple of pounds cheaper if bought directly from Stocking Shock, which is fair enough when you take into account Etsy fees and such, so though I did facepalm a bit about finding the direct shop after buying from Etsy it's not really a big deal.

All in all I'd really say if you want fawn fur, get this! I've attempted working in faux fur to make a  collar like this, and it's kind of a bitch. So to get something nicely made and in a good quality fur for under forty dollars [and that included postage from the UK to Australia!] is really phenomenal. All the sewing is very neat with only a couple of hardly noticeable stitches visible. It fits me perfectly and snugly, and I love it.

And lastly, I just wanted to share this picture of Syra, because it's cute.

She must have been tyre'd. Please don't kill me.

Review #9: Bodyline

A couple of weeks ago our household, and especially James and I, had to deal with a whole lot of unpleasantness from the horrible man who "rented" the granny flat of our place. Long story short, it was distressing  and James and I decided to treat ourselves to a little retail therapy.

We got several accessories and a schoolgirl outfit [LDC049 if anyone's curious] for photoshoots as well as two dresses for me and one of their boystyle seperates sets. So, with no further ado, onto the review!

L379, 2L in Black

The biggest question was: get the OP or get the JSK? James was saying I should get both, but it would have been a case where I would have loved one and the other would have sat in the closet gathering dust. I slept on it [what, buying clothes is serious business!] and decided to go with the halter-neck JSK. I got the 2L rather than the 4L even though technically my bust won't fit the 2L. Apparently my waist is a fair bit smaller than the average bust/waist ratio because frequently I have to buy things that are too large for my waist...not that I'm complaining, tending more towards hourglass is nothing but a good thing. But in any case, with this dress ordering a size smaller than my bust was a good idea because it fits perfectly, and a 4L would have been way too large. In person, this dress is cute and nice and it's refreshing to have something of a solid colour in my lolita wardrobe!

This dress is on the better end of Bodyline quality, a couple of loose threads being the only flaw in otherwise quite sturdy construction. The only thing was that it had a really strong factory smell when I pulled it out of the bag which was pretty icky. But a quick wash and all is well.

I tried to take some detail shots but my phone decided that it hates this dress, so I have nothing. But the stock photo is very accurate, so you do get what you expect with this JSK.

L479, 2L in Brown

This dress, according to the measurements, doesn't fit me. But it's one I've always wanted ever since I first started trawling Bodyline so on James's suggestion we got it anyway, and I am so glad we did. It's a perfect fit and is flat out the most gorgeous dress I own. It's just beautiful! The colours are so much darker and richer than they appear in the stock photo, the fit is perfect [even though my measurements are 102/82cm as opposed to 96/88cm, go figure] and it's so lovely! Both the neck and waist bows picture are detachable, however the waist ties are not. It's just do delicate and lovely and princess-y, this is a phenomenal dress.

James got a quick snapshot of me while I was frolicking happily, and as you can see this is actually a really good dress for a medium busted lolita. Personally I like the way the dress sits on me far more than how it sits on the model in the stock photos. This shot is also pretty spot on to the dress's colour in real life, unlike the stock photo.

L493, 2L

Is this steampunk, Barry? Yes, Other Barry, it's steampunk.

Imagine these with a better blouse, hot boots and a big, big gun...cos that's how we're shooting them next week! Yay, steampunk photoshoot! I've actually been thinking about dabbling in boystyle a bit lately, so it was exciting when James was all like "lets get this outfit". There's not all that much to say about this set, they're quite good and really look exactly like the product photo, so no photo from me!

As far as shipping and stuff goes, it took a few days longer for us to get this order than previous times. The packages came on Friday the week after postage  and they normally some between Monday and Wednesday. But still, that's nothing like the delays I've been hearing some girls in the US have been having lately so it's all good.

Review #8: Classical Puppets & One Day in Paradise

Recently I ordered a Classical Puppets bell-shaped petticoat from the Australia lolita store One Day In Paradise. My first petti is a Leg Avenue one I got off eBay and it has served me quite well but it doesn't provide much shape for skirts of heavier fabrics. It's brilliant with light dresses, and gives just the right amount of poof for me, but I needed something a bit more heavy duty as well. As I had heard many good things about Classical Puppets pettis I decided to give them a go, and fortunately ODIP had a black one in stock in my size.

This is the stock picture from ODIP. I didn't like that they didn't have a picture of the actual black petti I was buying, but that's not really a big deal - it is only a petticoat.

This is the petticoat I received, still crunkly from postage:

My phone doesn't like photographing it, but I love it! It's gorgeous and soft and so floofy! The only thing that makes me a little sad is that it doesn't have a line of lace at the bottom, but that ODIP's fault for not having an accurate picture. I put it on instantly and started prancing around, feeling like the puffiest princess ever. It was a great feeling. And so now I'm adding my voice to hundreds of others when I say, if you want a cupcake petticoat, Classical Puppets is the way to go!

Ordering from ODIP was easy. I sent a quick email to Marie, the lady who runs it, just to confirm that the petti was in stock and not a pre-order kind of thing, and she sent a helpful reply very quickly. The pricing was also very reasonable at $50. Given that there was no custom sizing waiting times I don't mind that the petticoat itself cost a little more than it would have been to buy directly from Classical Puppets or a reseller like Qutieland.

However, postage was quite an issue. It was almost a full week from placing my order to it actually being shipped, and as it was just a single in-stock item I felt like that was a little too long. From that point it still hadn't arrived two weeks later, so I sent another email to Marie. It turns out my order had been shipped to someone else in Sydney. Marie was very helpful and apologetic, and found out what had happened within a day of my emailing her. I just don't like mistakes like that happening because they are completely avoidable, and they don't just inconvenience me, they inconvenience whoever the package was accidentally sent to, and create lots of work and worry and fuss all around that would never have happened if whoever packed the package had made sure to triple check the order. So my petti was posted again on February 1st, three weeks and one day after I had ordered it, and I received it today, February 4th, almost a month after ordering.

Excited me this morning heard the postman's knock and dashed out to get my newest lolita purchase, finally. But I was honestly a bit jacked off when I opened the postage satchel and the petti tumbled out, because the little plastic wrapper it was in hadn't been fastened shut so the petti had slipped out and was just lying jumbled inside the satchel. Maybe I'm being too black-and-white here, but if someone dicks me around, I want it to be made up to me. An email apology when they're fixing a problem that occurred on their end doesn't cut it. If there had been a handwritten note of apology in the bag, maybe a voucher for a few dollars of store credit or free postage on my next order [and really, who ever actually uses those?] I'd have felt more forgiving, but I think it's stupid of a business to mess a customer around and not do anything to make amends. Because ODIP has lost a customer in me. I won't say no-one should order from them because I'm sure I'm the sucky case in a hundred where something goes wrong, but I wasn't happy with how they dealt with their mistake so unless I have no other choice I won't be a customer again.

So, just to sum it all up for anyone who didn't feel like reading this whole rambly post:
Classical Puppets: Phenomenal! So, so happy with my petticoat ^__^
One Day In Paradise: Easy to order from, but really messed up on postage and though I got my petti eventually I expect a business to make it up to their customers when they make a mistake like that, so I'm not the happiest of campers.