Sunday, 23 September 2018

The super massive life update and coming out of hiatus

Hi everyone, I'm finally back! I've really missed blogging, but just have not had the time or mental energy for it. Why? Well, read on if you want a bit of a run down about how crazy my life has been since June.

Content warning I guess; the first in a string of things that knocked me on my arse was problems with my IUD getting embedded in my endometrium so I do talk about period type stuff below. So if uterus talk and blood bug you don't keep reading (or skip ahead to the end for all the other big life changes I've been going through).

So, the months of insanity started when I went for a jog on Sunday the 17th of June. I was starting the C25K program, figuring I had time to complete it before getting married on the last day of August and wanting to do something to get more into shape. However, during the half hour of exercise I started getting cramps. The fun kind of female cramps. I started bleeding shortly afterwards and it didn't stop. It was heavier than spotting, sort of light period level.

Since I'd had the IUD inserted I had occasionally had a bit of cramping and spotting, but this was the second time it had been this bad. Twice was too many so I booked in with a GP to get it removed eight days later (first appointment I could get).

Long story short - she could not get it out. It hurt like hell, I bled a lot, and the end result was that the string was broken and I had to get an ultrasound and go to a gynaecologist. One good thing about having to get an ultrasound was that it confirmed that all in all my uterus and ovaries are healthy (I was worried about ovarian cysts due to family history and irregular periods) but still it was an experience I could've done without. And then I went to the gynaecologist on the 28th.

And fuck me. I thought the GPs attempt at removal was painful. This was so much worse. The receptionist was apparently meant to give me pain killers (she didn't) and unlike the GP appointment, where James came with me and held my hand and distracted me with cute talk, I was on my own (James had to work). Natalie came with me to the clinic, cos she's awesome, but I was in the doctor's office alone. So much pain and so much blood. She had to stop, remove all the implements and give us both a break for a bit, then start again. Finally, she go it out. I saw it; all jagged and bloody and just horrible looking.

It took me ages to be able to stand up and clean myself up. And then Nat and I just sat in the car until I felt steady enough to drive us home. Then I had a shower and collapsed into bed.

Thing is though, the bleeding didn't stop. The gynaecologist had said to come back in two weeks if it didn't stop, and though it had subsided by that date it hadn't stopped. I wasn't able to get another appointment with her for another week after that though. But finally I was there and she prescribed some pills, and lo and behold the bleeding stopped.


Over five weeks of effectively non-stop period really takes it out of you. Not just physically but mentally. I felt like shit, even when the bleeding was slowing down and the cramping stopped, it was still making me so anxious. And on top of that, the removal and earlier attempted removal was traumatic. I don't use that word lightly. I was glad to have had it removed but I felt so awful and wrecked. During those five weeks I not only had to continue going to work most days, but had to help staff a two day conference on the fourth and fifth days after removal; on these days I was bleeding more heavily than I ever had on a period before.

But eventually, once the meds kicked in and the bleeding stopped, things went back to normal. Right? Wrong.

Who caught a nasty flu for over two weeks? I did! Sigh.

And then...guess whose household made a pretty sudden decision to move to a new house? We did! Seriously, we went from "maybe it's time we moved" to having our application approved in two weeks. It's utterly fantastic to be in our new place, and I'll share a few pictures of my lolita corner here at some point but it was just a big added stress, even if it was stress with a very positive end result.

To make it even better...the bleeding started again during the move and I had no time to get to my gynaecologist again (I managed to get the same meds from my GP though, so it was okay in the end, though I only got enough for the few days before the wedding so I was bleeding through a lot of the move). I also got a new nasty virus that resulted in endless coughing, sore throats, and a ruined voice. We were so under-prepared for the move that I had several massive horrible panic attacks during, thinking we couldn't get it all done in time...but we had to because we were flying out to New Zealand! Our landlords also turned nasty (and nice by turns, but nasty first) as soon as they found out we were looking at other properties so the adrenaline was rushing all the time we were there, getting ready for confrontations.

James was also sick in the weeks we moved, and the two of us spent ages not sleeping enough or eating enough and still just having to keep going and get the hell out of our old place. As I still had to go to work most days James copped it so much worse than me, but it was still the most horrible time in my life. Again, end result worth it, but the actual experience was not good at all. It was hellish in so many ways and I will do everything in my power to make sure James and I never have to go through that level of stress again if I can help it. It sucked.

And as you know, on top of that we were still getting everything in order for our little wedding and  honeymoon trip! We got the keys to our new house eighteen days before flying out, and handed over the keys to the old place at 10.30PM on Monday night before getting picked up at 4.45AM on Tuesday to go to the airport. This was my first international trip, so the planning also involved getting passports in order and all of that. It was fun stress, but still stress, and it go more stressful as sickness and the move meant I had so much trouble focusing on anything.

I will be blogging about the whole trip, by the way, I know it's breaking the theme of the blog (except for my wedding outfit), but hey, rambling is in the blog can't say you haven't been warned! It'll be fun though, with lots of pretty pictures. And a heck of a lot more positive than this post has been, because it was wonderful and we did so much cool stuff and most of all I'm just really happy to be wife to a glorious husband now!

So yeah. That whole giant wall of text is why I've been absent from this blog. For a while there I was struggling enough just to get to work every day, let alone to have any headspace for anything but TV and games when I wasn't working or doing what had to be done (and for a while there was precious little time to do anything but move move move).

But I'm through the other side now, more or less. I'm still sick, and I know I have a lot of emotional processing to do that I just didn't have time for. I don't deal well with change and upheaval, and there has just been so much of that in the past six or so weeks. To have that come on the back of long term medical issues and sickness meant I wasn't in a good place to start with. So I'm settled now, and things are coming back to normal, but it will still take me a while to feel properly grounded again. Even writing this has actually brought some residual panic back to the surface (not fun) but I just wanted to share what has been going on. And have a bit of a vent. And also toot my own horn a bit, because it's been so tough for me but I came out the other side in one piece, and though I'm a bit worse for wear now I'll recover.

Also, I do need to toot James's horn as well - he was a powerhouse during our move and after (and before, with the IUD issues, too). He went beyond his limits, took care of me when I was unable to do anything but shake and cry, and even after we've come back from New Zealand he's been unpacking and rearranging and getting everything in order. Since I went back to work I'd come home every day and the house would be more home like. He has always been a great boyfriend, and he's a wonderful husband now ^__^

So here I am, married to the love of my life, living in a lovely new house, and we got to enjoy nine days in New Zealand. There will be one more big life change coming up this year for me (and no, I'm not pregnant, in case anyone's gonna ask) but it'll be a good one when it happens (and I'll let you know about it too).

The long and the short of this very long post is that Roli is back to her ramblings! Did anything dramatic happen in your life while I was away?

Friday, 31 August 2018

Lolita Blogpost Roundup: August 2018

Scheduled posting a blessing...because I'm off in New Zealand getting married right now! Of course, I'll blog all about that (and my gorgeous lolita wedding outfit) once I'm back, but for now enjoy some of the blog posts I read in the last month.

Redo Your Most Recent, Least Favorite Coord from Cupcakes and Unicorns
This was a really fun sounding LBC topic, and I enjoyed this take on it. Sometimes it takes a while to realise why things don't quite work in real life when they should on paper. That's part of the reason why I love flatlays so much - it lets me experiment with coordination a lot with minimal effort.

It's Here! Haenuli's Crystal Guardians: Fairy Princess Review from Magical Girl Me
I always enjoy reading reviews, especially ones that are really detailed like this. I am also now kind of regretting not ordering this dress myself...

Rose and Blanc Tea Room - Review from Effervisceral
A bit of a different kind of post to what I usually share but a very enjoyable read nevertheless. Lots of pretty pictures too!

Comm meet: Little Flour from Sanakanin
Mori lolita meet! So many cute outfits in this post, it really makes me want to try doing a mori-ish look myself.

LBC: A Coord Inspired by my Favorite Book from Gyokuro and Orchids
I both love the coordinate in this post, and the reasoning behind the choices. Anne of Green Gables is one of my perennial favourites, I have a box set of all the books and reread them every so often.

Lost Forest: Rose Castle JSK from Saxon Blues
I really, really love reading detailed reviews (and this is a kick in my backside to start doing better ones myself!) so this post just ticked all of my boxes. I also kind of fell in love with the dress itself...which is bad, because I don't want to fall in love with anything new!

Create An Outfit For £100 from Gravelvet
I always enjoy seeing the price of outfits (even if sometimes it makes my wallet cry). Lolita isn't cheap but posts like this prove that it doesn't have to be extremely expensive either.

As usual, if you've noticed a new lolita blog floating around on the internet, or have one yourself that I don't seem to read, please drop me a link!

Tuesday, 31 July 2018

Lolita Blogpost Roundup: July 2018

I may have gone quiet on posting but I have not stopped reading! As usual, the lolita bloggers I follow have put out a lot of really great content, and here are some of my recent favourites.

Comm meet: Old School at Alice Tea Salon from Sanakanin
So. many. cute. oldschool. photos! This was a fund read with lots of really adorable photos, check it out!

Inspiration, where to find it // 10 Day Lolita Challenge from Poppy Noir
I'm really nebulous on my own inspirations. I just like things, you know? So it was enjoyable to rad a little about one particular person's inspirational images in the fashion.

Flatlay ♥ Pastel Easter Bunny from Lolita Wonderland
I am still so happy that Rosalynn is blogging again, and I am really enjoying seeing her flatlays. Flatlays are the best.

Coming back to a community where you aren’t wanted from Rabbit Winner
Guys! It's a new lolita blog! Started this month! And the second post is this interesting thought piece on the lolita community and belonging. 

Angelic Pretty Paris 2nd anniversary Tea Party from Ruban Rose
I love reading event reports, love it. I also get a wee bit jealous, because I don't imagine AP are going to come to Australia any time soon. But I enjoy getting to live vicariously through other people's posts about brand events!

Lolita Wardrobe 2018 Midway from Ophelia of Harts
OMG guys...I found another new (to me) blog! I get so excited when I discover new things to read! And of course, I love wardrobe posts, so yeah, this was great to find.

I was so damn chuffed to find not one, but two new blogs this week. If you know of any others that I don't appear to follow please drop me a link because the more the merrier!

Tuesday, 10 July 2018

Coordinates from May - June 2018

Due to my relative inactivity on this blog at the moment I'm posting this a little later than I normally would. Not that anyone probably noticed or cares, but I like acknowledging discrepancies in my posting schedule ^__^

I had a bit of a break from wearing lolita for most of April and the start of May. Not really deliberate, I just didn’t have the chance. So when a Friday in May rolled around and James offered to drive me to the station in the morning, rather than walking like usual, I jumped on the chance to dress up. It was a super cold day, so my fleece-lined tights were a must, and from there I just built up a very comfortable, very casual outfit. And I ended up really, really loving it! I got a bunch of compliments at work as well, which was nice. And it reminded me how much I like wearing purple.

Skirt: Victorian Maiden
Shirt: TeePublic
Shoes: Bodyline
Everything else: Offbrand

Honestly, I think this is the most typically casual I’ve ever gone in lolita, and I rather liked it. Nerdy t-shirt plus a lolita skirt? I think I’ve found my new favourite thing.

Speaking of nerdy, I next wore lolita to see Solo with James. Honest talk? I only wore lolita because my one pair of comfy jeans were in the wash ^__^

Like the previous outfit, this one came together from concerns about comfort and practicality. I picked my most comfy skirt, paired it with an easy to wear and long sleeved cutsew (because Winter), long socks for the same reason, flat shoes and simple accessories. And again, I actually rather liked it! I wouldn't normally go with this colour combo (ivory? With my black-and-red?) but I think it worked out pretty okay. It's not a mindblowing outfit by any means but it was cute and comfortable.

Skirt: Handmade
Cutsew, sock & shoes: Metamorphose temps de fille
Everything else: Offbrand

I next wore lolita to work on a Friday (again). It’s Winter here right now, and I do not like the cold at all so I haven’t really been up for dressing up much since lolita doesn’t really lend itself to bundling up in a thousand layers. But I braved it on this Friday and rather liked the result! So many cherries, much wow.

Skirt: Handmade
Cardigan: Banned
Bow clip: Me Likes Tea
Socks: Angelic Pretty
Everything else: Offbrand

I wasn’t able to take a full photo so have a bathroom selfie and a shoe shot; together they give you the general gist. I actually really want to redo this cardigan and skirt combo with even more cherry things, socks and a hairclip at the very least. But that might be too much. Or not…

So that's my lolita outfits from the past couple of months. Nothing particularly outstanding, but I'm glad that I'm keeping up wearing this adorable fashion.

Saturday, 30 June 2018

Lolita Blogpost Roundup: June 2018

Hi everyone! I'm not dead, I promise! Still not in the mood for blogging much but I'll keep up these round up posts and outfit posts as well, even if I'm inactive in all other ways ^__^

Inspiration: damare_kozou from RuffleCloud's Adventures
I love posts that link back to older resources...leading you down a glorious rabbit hole of fashion!

To Buy or Not to Buy Brand from Cupcake Kamisama
This is a great thoughtful piece about the brand market in lolita fashion - well worth a read. It was a good reminder for me that spending money on more expensive brand pieces, or paying stupid shipping on indie brand pieces, is not wasted money because there are cheaper options; it's a way of supporting the continuation of the fashion I love.

Presenting Dentelles Fanzine 3rd issue! from Ruban Rose
Is it bad that I didn't know this publication existed? But I do now and so do all of you!

Catching Up from Lolita Wonderland
My favourite lolita blogger is back...and with flat lays? Double win!

Diary of a Lolita from Parfait Doll
Another post from a blog that's been not particularly active lately. I'm not going to both summarising this post but it was a very good read, and relateable, and I suggest you check it out.

Paradiso 2018: A Model's Perspective **Lengthy Post** from Saxon Blues
Event posts are always fun to what are you waiting for?!

That's it for this month! I hope you enjoyed reading these posts as much as I did.

Thursday, 21 June 2018

Taking a little break

Hi everyone! I'm just a bit busy at the moment and don't feel up to making the time for blogging so I'm going to take a little break from posting regularly. Nothing's wrong and I will probably be back very soon but wanted to post rather than just going AFK for a bit.

Saturday, 16 June 2018

A white gothic capsule wardrobe

Currently on CGL there is a capsule wardrobe thread. Now, as you know, capsule wardrobes are kind of my thing, so I leapt on and said I'd try and take a crack at requested lolita wardrobes. And then, to my despair, this first request came in, for "a white main piece goth lolita capsule wardrobe. I like creams and blood reds and blacks too. If possible, no prints."

Oh dear.

But I gave it a shot anyway, and I think I am slowly starting to get the hang of gothic lolita a little bit more. I didn't adhere to the idea of no prints, and instead selected prints that are on the more minimal side. I will admit that I found the colour scheme a challenge as well, however it was a really good opportunity to try out something new. So, here's my attempt at a white/ed/black gothic lolita capsule wardrobe!

As you can see, it's very strictly tri-colour with the exception of the stained glass print. This is very much not me...even in wardrobes like this with limited colour schemes there's normally more hints of additional colours going on in the prints. And I normally include a lot more prints! So I found it a little challenging to put together properly unique outfits for each main piece. But I did my best and you can see the outfits below.

I love this print. I'm not really a Moitie fan, but man do I like this print. It was fair easy to coordinate, though I did find it challenging to incorporate the red pieces in these looks.

And oh my goodness. I've never really paid much attention to Atelier Pierrot because gain, I'm not very into gothic, but this JSK is gorgeous. The layers, the bustling, the details. To me, this is a perfect solid coloured dress. But again, I found it hard to coordinate with red!

I had a much easier time with this OP all round. It's something I would never, ever wear (it's the most "never" piece in this wardrobe) but I still think it's awesome!

I actually want to get a stained glass print eventually so I really enjoyed getting to coordinate this one digitally.

And finally we have the sole skirt of the wardrobe. I'm assuming the reds would match in the real world! Much as I love this skirt and the variety it brought to the wardrobe I did find it challenging to balance in the example coordinates.

Overall, I actually enjoyed getting to foray into gothic lolita territory. I'll be honest, I think this is one of my worst hypothetical wardrobes but still, it was a learning experience. In order not to end on a negative note, I pulled out my favourite coords from the ones above and collaged them together to prove that actually yes, I can sometimes do gothic lolita right!